Sawt Falasteen - Talking turkey: Trump turns pardon ritual into political roast

Since Abraham Lincoln's day, presidents have occasionally spared a lucky bird from becoming dinner, though the ceremony didn't become a yearly tradition until John F. Kennedy made it official in 1963.

This year's feathered VIPs -- Waddle and Gobble of North Carolina -- were meant to be the stars of a festive, bipartisan moment.

But the Hallmark-card episode quickly turned into a holiday roast as Trump tore into Democrats, fumed about crime and even revived a conspiracy theory about Joe Biden's pardoning process.

Waddle was absent for reasons that were not immediately clear but Gobble showed up -- and appeared grateful not to get cooked alongside Trump's many targets.

The president focused on Chicago, declaring once again that he could clean up crime in America's third largest city if only Illinois Governor JB Pritzker -- whom he branded a "fat slob" -- would let him send in federal troops.

Then came the Biden hit: Trump said US officials conducted a "very rigorous investigation" and discovered that last year's turkey pardon was signed not by the then-president but by an autopen -- rendering the whole thing invalid.

Even the birds weren't safe from becoming political props. Trump mused aloud about naming Waddle and Gobble after Democratic leaders Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi -- before stopping himself.

"I realized I wouldn't be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people," he remarked acidly.

He then pivoted to economics, delivering a burst of cherry-picked statistics.

"Egg prices are down 86 percent since March," he declared. "And gasoline will soon be hovering around $2 a gallon." He also boasted he had delivered the largest tax cuts in history.

While egg prices have indeed fallen from their record highs, grocery costs overall are still rising. The national average for gasoline sits at $3.10 -- slightly higher than this time last year, according to automotive services group AAA.

And the One Big Beautiful Bill Act -- which extends provisions of Trump's 2017 tax law -- ranks around the sixth-largest tax cut ever, not the biggest.

As for Gobble, the bird carried on with remarkable composure for a turkey caught in the spotlight at a de facto campaign rally.

The fowl were selected by North Carolina students in an online vote and will now retire to a comfortable post-pardon life back home.

Q.Jaber--SF-PST