Sawt Falasteen - Hostages freed in Gaza truce pine for those left behind

Siegel is one of a group of hostages released during a brief truce in the Israel-Hamas war last year who now pine for the loved ones they left behind -- and worry about what stalled truce talks mean for their fate.

"I'm still in Gaza, I haven't left yet," Siegel told AFP, describing her mental state.

"I'm with Keith in spirit at all times. I can't bear to imagine that he and the other hostages are 40 metres (130 feet) below ground, without air to breathe, without food to eat, without anything nice."

Aviva and Keith were seized from kibbutz Kfar Aza near the border with Gaza during Hamas's unprecedented attack on October 7, two of the 251 hostages abducted to the Palestinian territory that day.

The week-long truce last November saw Palestinian militants released 105 hostages seized on October 7, the Israelis among them in exchange for 240 Palestinians held in Israeli jails.

Siegel became one of the first to tell her story publicly after returning to Israel.

"I wanted to die so many times," she told AFP, her voice shaking at the memory.

"When I got out, I had lost 10 kilos (22 pounds). I could barely walk, eat or drink. I don't want to imagine the situation Keith is in."

Of the hostages seized on October 7, 97 are still held in Gaza, including 33 the Israeli military says are dead.

- 'Sick of burying hostages' -

Shortly after her liberation, Siegel began attending weekly protests held in the Israeli commercial hub of Tel Aviv, calling for a truce deal that would allow for the return of the remaining hostages.

Those protests have only grown as organisers try to ramp up pressure on the government to seal a deal.

The Israeli army's announcement that it had recovered the bodies of six hostages from a Gaza tunnel in late August has made a breakthrough all the more urgent, Siegel said.

"Keith is still there," she told AFP at one of the recent protests.

"We have to get them out. It's too cruel... It's unbearable and unforgivable."

Like Siegel, Raz Ben Ami was freed during the November truce and is now hoping for the release of her husband, Ohad Ben Ami, 55.

She too has taken to the streets to demand progress towards a deal, speaking at one recent rally while wearing a t-shirt bearing her husband's photograph.

"I'm sick of my government that doesn't do enough to bring back the hostages.. sick of this nightmare that takes me back to Gaza every day," she said.

"I'm sick of burying hostages, returned in coffins."

- 'I prefer to hope' -

Another regular at the Tel Aviv protests is Bat-Sheva Yahalomi, marching with a picture of her husband Ohad Yahalomi, who was captured on October 7 from their home in kibbutz Nir Oz along with their 12-year-old son Eitan.

Bat-Sheva can't stop thinking about the last time they saw each other, before armed men took her and the children away from Ohad, who lay on the floor wounded in an exchange of fire after trying to protect the family.

"I think the last thing he saw was our kidnapping, and he probably doesn't know what happened to us," she said.

Bat-Sheva and her two daughters managed to escape after they fell from their captor's motorbike.

Eitan was released in the November truce after 52 days in Gaza.

But Ohad's continued captivity means "it's still October 7" for Bat-Sheva, a French-Israeli joint citizen.

"What breaks me is hopelessness, the idea that (the hostages) lose hope and don't think they'll be rescued," she said from her new home in a kibbutz in central Israel.

On her fridge, alongside pictures from happier days, hangs an image of her husband with the words "Bring them home".

When the children ask where their father is, Bat-Sheva says she tells them "the truth" but also works to keep their spirits up -- as well as her own.

"I don't know but I prefer to hope that he's alive," she said.

Z.Ramadan--SF-PST